I often contemplate my role as a wife and the relationship I have with my husband.
I have been also thinking of late about becoming a mother. When I think of this, I am excited, thrilled, nervous and scared as H. E. double hockysticks. I kinda know what to expect, you know, about the basics, the rudementary tasks of motherhood, such as changing diapers, feeding, bathing, etc. What I am unprepared for is the emotional part... but not just about how I will feel toward our child. What I think about is how becoming parents will change our marriage.
I had often worried that it would put some distance between us, that we wouldn't be as close as we are now.
This past weekend, we were able to spend some time with my hubby's family. His sister has 2 children. One of which is my buddy. From the time we got there we were attached at the hip and I was her personal entertainment unit, hug giver, jungle gym, book reader, song singer, knee bouncer, you get the picture. It is like this everytime we see them, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
During this whole time, my hubby was right there, playing, tickling, being a part of it all. On the way home I shared my concerns and we had a really great discussion about it. I know that 2 days does not predict a lifetime, but being the worrier that I am, it really put my mind at ease.
So, for all of you mom's out there, how did having a child (or children) change your relationship with your husband?
7 comments:
I'm interested in hearing these responses. This is something that worries me a lot.
There have been some very noticeable changes in our relationship. He and I became US (baby included). In the beginning I found there to be a strain as we found our footing between the two worlds. With time it has all balanced itself out. We have our roles. Parents, Spouse, Family. We do what we can to make time for each other (away from the kids) to keep things in check.
I'm a worrier too. It's so great you are able to talk about the things that bother you and have conversations with Mike about anything and everything.
PS Doug wanted to make sure I read your post about "how you roll". He even asked me again over the weekend. He does NOT like the toilet paper rolling under, but for me - if there's paper, I'm happy.
My husband and I only had 10 months alone before we had our first child, so I really can't help much from your point of view. Although I can say as one worrier to another that having our babies only made our relationship stronger. We cherish our alone time, sometimes our dates are as simple as a trip to the grocery store while the kids are at gramma's. Or lunch together while they are in school. But it's always wonderful.
There is nothing like the feeling I get watching my Husband help the kids learn something new or just playing ball in the back yard.
You have some wonderful, wonderful times ahead :)
I am sure it is different with everyone --just have to learn WAY more patience, share the work, give each other breaks AND NEVER FORGET TO FIND TIME FOR EACH OTHER. gotta make that a priority Tammy
Husband? What husband? I have a husband? Lol. No seriously. :) At first you both will notice a little difference, but it can totally be worked through and you just have to take advantage of when the kids are asleep to visit, etc. Now, Brennan and I feel like we have accomplished something if we get to watch the same show in the same room at the SAME time. Even though it didn't USED to be like that, it is what works now and as long as you get some time together it's all good! :)
All I can say is the more, the merrier, in our case. We planned to have a baby about 2 years after we got married and missed that goal by only 1 month.
You are the walking dead at first and you have that little person who needs you to do everything for them and it's an awesome responsibility...I would often remind myself, if my my Mom could do this, I can do do it too !
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